04-02-2014 Dentists and Financial Paranoia

     I try rather hard not to think about financial motives while writing. My main goal is to get the stories out of my head, finally release the burden of living in a fantasy world that I’m unable to share. The promise I made to my family and friends to let people read what I write is an ongoing battle, but it’s too hard to not think about financial issues.

 

     After three years of not having medical for my daughter due to disability, I finally got it. The first thing we did was go see the special dentist they have at Primary Childrens Hospital for disabled children. Most autistic children have issues with diet, brushing or other functions that greatly impact their tooth health. Some refuse to brush, some won’t open their mouth, and some scream or bite. My daughter did none of this. She listened to the dentist, and even bit on something so they could take an x-ray of her mouth.

 

     I was very proud of Jordan for letting the dentist in. Despite all the issues and years of training it took to get her to brush her teeth, there was still one cavity. For her, it means they get to knock her out just to fix the cavity. I freak out every time they knock her out for anything. This will be the fourth time in her life and I hold a pit of anxiety just for it.

 

     The other thing that came with getting medical, was the bill collector hounds that circle. I pay as much as I can every months to try to get bills down, but all my back bills are medical, and most of them are overdue. I can’t do as much as others with the limited budget of disability.

 

     I try not to write when the financial pressure gets too much. I worry about making the latest book everything it can be to be a success, and writing comes out wrong. So, I haven’t edited or wrote anything in two weeks until the A-Z blog challenge.  Putting the bills aside, it’s time for me to restart. Harder with financial issues and nobody to help get me through.

 

     I also got distracted by a marathon of all eight seasons of 24. Cramming was a requirement as the new 12 episode season of 24 starts May 5th. Comiccon Fan-X is April 17th. Looking forward to Karl Urban, Nathan Fillion and James Marstars… and others.

 

     So I am going to post a request for two alpha readers. To fold through 3 chapters a week, and hopefully keep my spirits positive while I edit through my earlier drafts. I will post on this in a day or so. In the meantime I look for reasons to keep writing, and hold back the fear.

Kate

March 21,2014 Why are you doing this?

My goal with this new setup is to blog once a week on personal thoughts and updates on my books. It’s supposed to help my mental health as well as find new ways to re-integrate myself into the world.

 

For those of you who don’t know, I am a 39 year old single parent in Utah. Although pen names don’t stay secret, I adapted mine in deference to some solitude for my daughter who has autism, Jordan. My boyfriend, Ben, is 41 and our birthdays are only three days apart. I have a love of music, reading, history, and tabletop style games. I also claim an associate certification in unit clerking, double majored in college (Music and history education), became a certified truck driver for eight years, and have various physical and mental health issues.

 

In the simple form I am an introvert with a habit of recluse behavior and self esteem issues. Since having my daughter, I have worked hard at changing this in small steps. One of these steps includes my writing.

 

To date I have written 27 manuscripts (full finish) and after getting the ideas out of my head, I threw them away. Publishing was never a goal of mine before now. My imagination is like a rampant dragon, breathing fire on silly ideas and sinking its teeth into bone-ripping paths to other worlds. I’m like a cake decorator that had too much fun with the icing stencils. You might think that I wasted my writing, but I live with a constant fear that nobody will understand what worlds float in my head and tried to pursue noble hobbies and paths to make my way in the world. That changed last year.

 

My mother passed away, cancer, a couple of years ago. The more she would push for me to publish, the less I wrote. It wasn’t fair of her to put pressure on me, but it wasn’t fair that everything I wrote she refused to read either. She always joked that I would publish after her passing, and I told her the thought’s insane. My boyfriend of eight years, Ben, urged me to quit hiding in the ‘writers closet’ and try to get my latest work published.

 

I have nothing to lose at this point in the goal. Nothing could be said that I haven’t used as an excuse to hide my work from others. My fears may imagine everyone who reads my work dies of boredom, but I know that won’t really happen, mostly. I take courage from other writers on twitter and solace that this goal is not futile.

 

I’ve taken my latest project, and had it critiqued at a writing conference. Technically, there was no critique. The editor that glanced at my query and couple of pages simply said they want my work – to finish whatever edits I’m doing and submit to them. That ‘critique’ was the single most relieving advice I had to date. Now, I’m editing and trying to become part of the world again, even if its just online.

 

I hope to post once a week here. I also put various information on my latest world out to the internet. You can find a peak glimpse of the world at WyldHuntHotline.com

 

It promises to be an exciting and terrifying foray into publishing and I am honored you took the time to come along for the ride!

 

Wish me luck,

Kate Hatcher